“Laureen was twenty-three hours,” Mom says, sipping at her coffee as she looks across the table.

“That’s nothing,” Shirley laughs, shaking her head. “Aaron was thirty-four. They finally had to give me a caesarean.”

Mom winces.

I have heard these stories before, but trading birth stories seems to be a badge of honour that will never make sense to me. Who wants to brag about being in pain for that long? It gives me a sick feeling in my stomach and I wrinkle my nose, trying to ignore the bitter scent of coffee and cigarette smoke that never fades.

“A caesarean is easy, at least. No pushing.”

“Longer to heal though.”

“I don’t want to know.” I swallow, and look up from my book, My Sixth Grade Teacher Is an Alien. They both look at me and laugh.

I really don’t. I don’t need to hear about giving birth and having babies because that’s gross. I’d rather just read, but my sister has already gone to bed so the only place I can is right here in the kitchen where mom is.

“Why not? You’ll have babies some day.”

“No, I won’t.” I gag dramatically. “I don’t even like having a sister and brother, why would I have kids?” There’s a pause as I look back down at my book. “Besides. It’ll hurt.”

“You forget about the pain.” Not like I believe them, not after hearing them bragging about how painful it was.

“No, thanks! I’m never gonna have kids.”

“You’ll change your mind.”

But I won’t. It’s a promise I make to myself right then and there. I will never have kids. I don’t want to be a mother, and I don’t want to give birth. I want to be able to do what I want forever without having to worry about some dumb kids holding me back. I deserve that, don’t I?

At least that’s what I think. But as I get older I start to wonder, I start to think maybe it would be okay, maybe kids could be kind of… I dunno… fun, maybe. Kids could be all right, as long as I had them with the right person, like maybe Kevin, the cute boy from my class. So when my mom asks me to babysit for her friend I think, hey, practise. This could be okay.

“Fuck you,” Sheldon, two-year-old brat from hell shouts at me.

“Come on, you need a diaper change, kiddo,” I grit through my teeth, refusing to take another breath in because, man, this kid reeks. If I’d known babysitting would involve changing dirty diapers and having to deal with temper tantrums like this… I would never have agreed. Mom does not need to play bingo that much.

“I don’t wanna! I hate you!”

For a two-year-old the kid has got quite the vocabulary, and I wince.

Babysitting reminds me how much I hate kids. I promise myself again. Never. Ever. Have. Kids.

My promise works for five years, until I graduate high school, and find myself stumbling into a serious relationship. It’s love, I’m sure, and one night—one stupid, stupid night—we forget to use protection. I’m swept away by the stars above my head, grass prickling against my back. It’s romantic and sweet and could have been torn straight from a Harlequin. It’s perfect.

One month, two months later I take a test and my dreams shatter. I wanted to do something with my life, go to college, get a career… Instead, I’m pregnant and my path twists and churns as I drop out of college—one week after being accepted. Losing out on this chance for my future hurts, and I’m bitter and resentful and I hate this.

“How could you do this to yourself?” Mom asks, unhappy, unimpressed. This, being pregnant, was never in my plans for the future. It was never in my parents’ plans for myself. She wasn’t supposed to know yet. I didn’t want her to know. Not yet.

Dad is even less happy than Mom was. “How are you going to be able to afford this?” I’m silent. I don’t know the answer, not really. “Babies are expensive. Diapers, formula, clothing…” He keeps going on, listing how expensive things are, and I flinch as though every word is a blade.

He’s right. Kids are expensive and this one… it’s wrecking my life. It’s ruining my future. I hate it, I hate this. But I got myself into this mess, and I have to live with it. I’m going to resent it, though. Nothing can change that. I will resent this baby, I do resent this baby.

It only lasts until I see my baby in black and white, shifting and moving on a screen in front of me. I’m going to be a mother. Somehow that seems more important than school right now.

On my eighteenth birthday, I go out for dinner with a small group of friends. A nod to being an adult, perhaps, or an attempt at being responsible. My evening does not end here. From the restaurant, we go to the Purple Onion, a small bar just off Whyte Avenue, and I flash my ID at the bouncer.

“Happy birthday,” he says as he is handing me back my ID. I open my mouth to thank him and it’s too late, he’s already moved on to the next person in line.

 I’m eighteen, I’m officially an adult and it feels so good, so freeing and irresponsible and reckless that for a moment I want to drink, to act like every other eighteen year old I know.

I don’t.

I drink orange juice and I dance, ignoring the acrid stench of spilled beer and cigarette smoke. When it becomes too much I move towards the doors, open to allow the chilled fresh air passage into the darkened bar. The dance floor is a mass of shifting, harried bodies that twist and grind to the pulse of classic rock and new pop, the music overloud and bass turned up too high. When I miss the taste of alcohol I kiss my boyfriend, and in his mouth, I find the lingering traces of rye and coke. Remember this, I tell myself.

I turn eighteen and it’s a short pause in my life as a mother.

My life doesn’t change overnight. It’s a steady process full of hard decisions that I know I need to make. It hits me in Safeway, when I bypass the cookies and pick up bananas—“According to your blood test, your potassium is low,” my doctor tells me, his accent rich and warm and soothing, even as I’m trembling and terrified of the implications. “You should eat some bananas, if you like them. You’re taking your vitamins still, right?” I’m all right, my baby is all right—I’ve begun to make conscious decisions for my child’s health.

Oh, I’m not perfect. Is anyone? I still drink pop, but I’ve stopped drinking coffee. It’s a give and take kind of situation. I trade in some of my poor habits for healthier ones, but some… some I can’t give up.

When I’m three and a half months pregnant the gut wrenching morning sickness changes from one breathe to the next. I have almost gotten used to the need to vomit at any smell, regardless of how fond of it I had once been before being pregnant; God only knows how many times I’ve had to beg off on cooking supper because the smell of raw meat makes my stomach clench in horror. I have spent this time exhausted, queasy, and generally unhappy. For all the pain and sorrow I’m going through, I thought I would have something to show for it, but instead my stomach is nearly as flat as it has always been.

I stumble into the tiny kitchen of our apartment, the smell of freshly brewed English Toffee coffee fills the air, and instead of the urge to vomit, I find myself inhaling deeply. The scent floods my senses with a sense of peace and homecoming, taunting me with its nearness. The rich warmth of the smell of coffee caresses me, a gentle touch that reminds me of cold winter nights curled up in front of the fireplace.

I glance over at my boyfriend, ready to share my thrilling revelation with him when I pause, caught up in his easy beauty. It is as though I am seeing him for the first time all over again, and I smile. Sleep clings to him, eyes hooded against the light of morning, shadow covering his strong jaw. “Beautiful,” I breathe, and as he takes a sip of his coffee, I swallow heavily.

There, clinging to his lower lip is a drop of coffee lingering, tantalizing, taunting, and tempting me. Soft, wet brown on the pale pink of his lips, caressing them, leaving behind a trail of heavenly coffee flavour. It torments me as my vision narrows until all I can see is those lips, with that single drop of coffee that hangs poised, before the sight of his deep pink tongue darts out to catch the drop breaks my vision.

Without thinking, I lean forward and catch his lips between mine, halting the progress of his tongue, savouring the first taste of coffee to pass my lips in three months. It’s a perfection that I hadn’t expected, the taste of the coffee bursting in my mouth, flooding it with the taste of English Toffee. It isn’t the same, getting coffee second hand, but it’s better than nothing and I sigh, relaxing.

I ask the doctor for permission to take up yoga again, the gentle stretches relaxing and helping to maintain my stress levels. I slip back into the movements as though I had never stopped practising, a flashback to being a child and doing yoga with my younger sister as a warm-up before we would go to gymnastics. The older woman on the television never failed to amaze us with how flexible she was, and we would follow her instructions, laughing the whole while.

I press up into a back arch, my stomach lifting towards the sky and I swallow slowly, head dipping backwards as I relax into the movement. Breathing slows, my heart rate drops as I just am. Beside me, my sister is giggling, watching as I shift my five-month pregnant body, abdomen finally swelling with new life.

“You better have the baby before my birthday,” she tells me in all seriousness.

“Why?” It never fails to amaze people that I have retained my flexibility so easily.

“Because I have to be fourteen still when you have her!”

When I lower myself to the ground at last, it is with a laugh as I turn my head to the side. My sister and I look at each other and we smile. I am becoming a mother, and yet I have never felt closer to my sister.

I go for walks, and I take long, hot baths. I read, water swirling around me as I take the opportunity that was never mine before. One bathroom and a large family meant that relaxing in the bath was not an option, not something I could do without inconveniencing everyone else. Now I devour books as I soak in the tub, stopping often to drain and add water, keeping the temperature hot enough to turn my skin red. It isn’t a punishment, a way of hurting myself. I love the heat, the way it drains the tension out of my muscles and leaves me limpid and relaxed. I love to read, and I have the time right now. Time that I know will fade when my baby comes.

When the heat of summer is too much I lay on the couch with the fan cooling the sweat upon my body and I take naps. In the background is the hum of talk shows and soap operas, legal dramas where justice is served, and after an hour the show is over and the loose ends are tied up. These shows are a mindless break in the monotony of the day-to-day. The house is clean, supper ready to be cooked, and I have nothing else to do with my time. My kitten bats at my toes, and I grin from my place on the couch. Everything is slowly shifting and coming together. My life is changing, and taking a different path than the one I swore it would take, but I can’t find myself caring about the changes any longer. “Everything happens for a reason,” I tell myself as I roll over, toes moving away from the kitten. My eyes close and I listen to the children playing outside my patio door. Soon my child will be here.

I refuse to allow people to smoke around me or in my house. I hate the way it smells, even more than I hate the way it lingers on my tongue, bitter and acrid. The choice is for me, I don’t want to smell it or taste it in the air. But the choice is also for my baby. Carrying it within me affords some protection, but not enough. I have read the statistics; hours spent scouring the Internet as well as reading my mother’s nursing textbooks. I devoured the knowledge, the information, and I refuse to take the chances with my child. The change isn’t so difficult. My parents stopped smoking years ago, and the few friends I have who smoke are happy to step outside instead. The only time I have problems is when I go out, and I’m so far along now that going out is no longer the pleasure it once was. I would rather stay at home, cleaning and relaxing, getting ready for the child who will be here, home, soon.

I have become the perfect example of a young, conscientious mother-to-be.

“You never used to want kids,” my mom tells me, drinking the coffee I have made for her, as we sit at the dining room table. She laughs, reminding me of all the times I swore I would never get pregnant, would never have a child. “You said it was gross.”

“It is!” I laugh with her, one hand dragging across my swollen stomach as I sip at my juice. “The whole thing is gross, but…” I trail off, waving my hand in an attempt to say with my body what I cannot with words.

“It’s worth it,” she agrees, smiling.

“It’s gonna hurt.”

“You forget the pain, afterwards.”

I’m not sure if forgetting the pain is worth it, if it will really help as much as my mom seems to believe it will, but I only have her word on it. And she is right. It is worth it.

“I’m going to be a mom.” Tears sparkle, blurring my vision. I’m due any day now. Any time, in fact, if my doctor is to be believed. Five centimetres dilated, and it could happen soon. It frightens me and thrills me, and I wonder if I’m ready.

My mom leaves, hugging me and promising to be there when the time comes. I believe her.

Three in the morning, I am lurched out of bed with the urgent need to use the bathroom. It takes me ten minutes to realise that my water has broken, and it is time. Despite all my promises to myself, the sworn vows that I would never be a mother… the time has come.

I’m going to be a mom.

Today I ask for help for the first time in my life. Today I take charge and latch on to my future. It is a thrilling and terrifying moment that I have worked towards for so long that I never believed it would happen.

"Don't talk about blood, or the emo boy over there is going to go cut himself," my friend snarks, eliciting a quiet, if awkward, laugh from the people around her. It is a stereotype that the only people who cut themselves are the emo teenagers—you know the ones. They sit in their dark, possibly painted black, bedrooms listening to The Cure and writing bad poetry about how no one has ever liked them. These are the teenagers who have one or two spare suicide notes lying around "just in case," so obviously these are the only people who harm themselves.

I'm laughing, too. Just the same as everyone around me, but if my laugh is a little more brittle and forced, then who is to know? Because the fact is, I don't fit the stereotype of the emo teenager and yet I have a strong history of self harm. It goes great with the depression and anxiety.

I am twelve when I cut myself for the first time. My best friend and I are sitting in her bedroom for yet another sleepover. I have spent the night so often that I have my own toothbrush and clothes here. I have no need to pack a bag or prepare at all. Normally we spend our time watching anime and listening to music. If her brother is gone, we sneak into his room to read his comic books. Tonight, though, is different. Tonight we have chosen to stay in her bedroom, and for the first time we each hold a knife and cut into our arms. We have no intention to kill ourselves. The silence is broken by the sound of our breath catching, hissing through our teeth as we mark our arms with our own names. When we first talked about it, it seemed like a good idea. Now, I am not so certain. I never have been fond of pain.

It does not take long for the blood to bead and rise to the surface and I stare, fascinated. It hurts still, and my name is so much longer than my friend's, but the endorphins—a word I have only just learned in class—are starting to rush and I am left with a heady feeling of weightlessness. There is a sense of peace and relaxation as I close my eyes and breathe out slowly. Life, once so hard that I felt this need for pain, suddenly looks so much brighter, so much fuller, so much more. Pain is the answer to my problems, I decide.

Pain is not always an escape, I eventually learn.

I collapse at work when I am twenty-one, a sudden pain in my chest that is rushing through the left side of my body. I am found twenty minutes later, late coming back from my break, by my supervisor who was sent to find me. I am rushed to the hospital with a suspected heart attack, and all I can think of is my two-year-old daughter at home with my mother.

The wait to see a doctor is terrifying in a way I have not experienced before. I am alone in a waiting room, surrounded by sick and injured people, only the ache in my chest and arm for company and compassion. My throat rattles as I struggle to breathe. It seems the air around me has turned syrup-thick, sticky and sweet as only hospital air can be, and I find myself choking on every breath I take. When I am finally admitted into the back, the doctor barely looks at me before writing on my chart.

"What you've experienced is an anxiety attack," he tells me. The look in his eye says that I have wasted his time and I flinch. I work in a high stress job, I admit. A call centre that provides technical support is an understandably stressful place to work, but I am ashamed that this stress has translated into this pain.

I leave the hospital feeling lessened by my experience and turn back to the painpleasure of a knife. It helps for a time, until I experience another anxiety attack. And then another. At my mother's request, I turn to my family doctor and she prescribes Ativan, a small white pill, barely the size of the head of the pins I remember my mother using when she had the time to sew. I slip it under my tongue and I am lost. This is not the last time I lose myself to the medication.

My attacks continue to come without warning, just a sudden shot through my chest as my teeth grind together, leaving me gasping and fumbling for purchase even as I am fumbling for the Ativan. It is such a tiny pill for the relief it brings—like a shot of whiskey, according to one person, or like smoking the good weed, according to another. I would not know; I have never smoked weed, and never been fond of whiskey. What I do know is that the Ativan leaves me in a haze and removes the pain. I close my eyes and breathe deeply, each breath sparking golden hot as I draw it in, coming out mist-black with anxiety and depression and anger and hurt.

Exhaustion overcomes me, drowsiness pulling at my eyelids and tugging them downwards: another side-effect of the Ativan, one that I welcome. Insomnia is an ongoing concern, one that I have come to expect—if not welcome—with open arms. I can often be found joking that the only reason I have managed to complete many assignments on time is a direct result of my insomnia.

Right now, insomnia is not a problem.

I collapse into bed, eyes closed tightly as my mind races. I cannot stop thinking any more than I can stop breathing, and it is almost physically painful in a way that the anxiety attack was not. I can breathe freely now, but it is not enough. With every breath I take my mind races, tumbling down through half-formed thoughts and ideas.

I run my fingertips over the smoothbumpy wall, writing words in the hope that I might remember them come morning and wakefulness. Is this what an opium haze feels like? The thought is etched across the paint by the touchdrag of my finger and then it drifts away, lost in the sleep-slurred mess of my imaginings. My last conscious thought is of a knife, steel glorious and tempting, urging me to seek relief in harm, in cutting myself again.

Morning after is fuzzy, the drug taking its time to clear my system even as I stumble drunkenly. I need to squint in order to place my legs in the holes of my pants, and dressing becomes a chore of epic proportions. I know the words traced upon my bedroom wall by the way my fingers remember them and I sit in front of my computer, furiously typing before they slip away for good. The vision of the knife remains, a temptation I long to resist and yet long to give into. My nails scratch across my arm, digging in along the scars I bear, and I catch myself, surprised and appalled at my subconscious behaviour.

Ativan has its flaws, and being addictive is one of them, so I make it a point to use them sparingly. I prefer meditation or yoga to calm myself as much as possible instead. Insomnia returns when I stop using the Ativan, and I am left fatigued and drained even as I toss and turn, unable to sleep. I lose all sense of who I am, twisted and torn apart by depression and anxiety. Realisation comes slowly, a painful process where I learn that I can no longer do this alone. I need help, surprise, surprise.

I finally make the decision to go see a doctor. The trip is riddled with anxieties and second, third thoughts. The wait gives me fourth and fifth thoughts. Finally I am brought into the examination room. I look at the doctor—his brown hair, brown eyes—and for the first time I talk. I talk about how I can't sleep, can't concentrate, can't breathe, how I'm not myself anymore. Help. Please, help me. And he listens. This is the strangest part. He listens, and it's like my Ativan, dragging away the stress and anxiety as he agrees to help me. Together we work out a plan—not for me to be free of these issues, but a way for me to manage my problems. The relief is so profound I begin to cry, startling myself.

When I leave the doctor's office I smile, relieved and at peace.

Today, I find hope.

PROW 104 – 507                                                                                                   Instructor: Sophie Lees

A Tolerance for Violence

Deliberative Argument

 

 

Laureen Guldbrandsen Handed in: 1/30/2007

 

 

“Boys will be boys,” I would always hear my mother say in response to yet another fight that happened at school, even when it wasn’t the boys fighting. That is one of the most common phrases I hear from parents. Yet April 20, 1999 brought a marked change in many parents’ opinions; on that day, twelve people were brutally murdered, and another twenty-four wounded before the assailants committed suicide in what was soon to be known as the Columbine High School massacre. After the events of that day, parents began to believe that it was no longer a matter of “boys will be boys,” but was instead a concern that needed to be addressed. Nearly eight years later, things have not changed; fights continue to occur in schools, bullying is as much an issue today as it was then, and the issue of drugs has only increased. Now, as a mother myself, I find myself concerned about the failure of the education system to adapt a zero tolerance policy in regards to youth violence. While many schools will inform parents that they will not tolerate violence, the truth is that they can and do tolerate it, and often look the other way.

Youth violence can be defined as any intentional physical, sexual, emotional or psychological assault on another person (or persons) by one or more young people aged 12 to 19 years. Zero tolerance towards youth violence of any kind in schools means that violence would not be accepted as the norm, and would instead be punished heavily upon the first offence; this includes bullying, taunting, teasing, and fighting, as well as drug usage, which is known to lead to violence. Students must be held accountable for their own actions and recognize that their misbehaviour is a result of conscious choices, not the result of disadvantage, discrimination or peer pressure. There must be clearly defined consequences for violence and other misconduct in order to provide for a safe environment for everyone to feel safe in the education system.

Currently, youth violence is an issue that is glossed over, and over-looked by many individuals in the education system. This allows for more violence and misconduct to occur than what could be considered safe.  Gangs and drug usage are one of the most common concerns in high schools today, both of which lead to violent situations. According to the Edmonton Police Service “there is a growing concern about gangs in schools. Gang-related problems have escalated, and schools are now in the position of deterring gangs and gang-related activity for the safety of themselves and the students.” (Edmonton Police Services) Gangs are known for creating, and thriving in, violent situations. They are also behind much of the drug-related issues in many high schools. Drug usage is an issue for many students, especially for those who feel pressured into doing the harder drugs such as crystal methamphetamine, a drug which is known to cause a psychological effect on users, commonly provoking them towards violence.

While it is difficult to determine the exact extent of youth violence in Canadian high schools, we see that every year one in ten youths comes into contact with the police for violations of the Criminal Code or other federal statutes. While ten percent may not appear to be a great deal, we must take into account that the average number of students in a classroom ranges from twenty to thirty students. As well, in the past eight years, we have seen a dramatic increase in youth violence, and homicide rates.

A zero tolerance policy towards youth violence would prevent a great deal of the violence that occurs in high schools, and allows corrective action to take place in the event that violent events do occur. If students expect there to be no tolerance for any violent actions they intentionally take, whether physical, sexual, emotional or psychological, they would be less likely to take action and instead think things over before making a decision as to what action they would take.

“If I knew I wouldn’t have been able to get away with [getting into fights] then I wouldn’t have done it. The teachers never cared,” said Stephen Guldbrandsen when asked about his violent past in school. Suspended only once for fighting, he had a reputation as one of the more violent young men at M. E. LaZerte Composite High School, and was a football player on the Junior team, where that reputation helped him. As a father of one now, he is more than willing to admit that a zero tolerance policy towards youth violence is a requirement in today’s schools. “The peer pressure to do drugs affected my judgement, and probably was what brought out that violence. [Teachers] really should have watched out for the drugs,” he adds.

With teachers and various educational staff looking the other way in regards to youth violence and other forms of misconduct we are sending a message that this is allowed, even acceptable behaviour, when in fact, it is not. “Boys will be boys,” is not a valid excuse for the violence we see in today’s schools. Youth violence is a growing trend that needs to be remedied, and the best way in which to correct this behaviour is to stop it at the first indication of trouble. The moment we allow it to proceed unchecked we are giving our consent and our blessing; this is not acceptable. Instead, we should be operating under a zero tolerance policy, wherein bullies, students who fight, and students who push drugs upon others are held accountable for their actions.

 

Bibliography

Edmonton Police Services. 28 January 2007 .

Guldbrandsen, Stephen. Interview. Laureen Guldbrandsen. 23 January 2007.

Statistics Canada, Canadian Centre for Justice Statistics. "Canadian Crime Statistics." Juristat, 16(10) (1995): 14-15.

As children we are taught that “sticks and stones” can break bones, but that names cannot hurt us; we are raised to believe that names have no real emotional value, not to complain when we are called names. And then we are told that the opposite is the truth. These same children are taught that to call a black man a “nigger” is wrong and hurtful, to call an Asian woman a “chink” is cruel, and to never call a Native American “primitives” or “savages.” This name-calling that we, as children, were taught meant nothing has grown to have a huge impact in the world as we grow older. With that impact we begin to learn about being “politically correct,” and our thoughts and speech shift accordingly. But how much is too much? Is there a point where we must step back and begin to name things as we see them, or do we persist in using euphemisms to name groups, cultures, and people?

“What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet” (Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet act II, sc. ii) Shakespeare was wrong when he stated that a name is not what matters, but what it is inside that affects us. The names that we call one another, or ourselves can affect our way of thinking about ourselves. If a young teenager consistently hears herself called “fatty” she is more likely to perceive herself as being fat, whereas that same girl constantly called “beautiful” is more likely to have a higher self-image.

Names matter to people, and while what is inside does count, the names we are called can affect our perception of ourselves and others. The name “nigger” is an example of how much a single word can impact our reality. Gloria Naylor writes of how that word can have many different meanings depending on who it is that speaks it, and to whom they are speaking. A young black woman may call her boyfriend “my nigger” without anyone batting an eye, yet a young white child calling the black girl a “nigger” will be reprimanded immediately, and with good cause. After all, it’s not a very PC word to use, and one of the worst racial slurs known to the English language.

If a name we give ourselves, or are called can affect one individual so much then when we look at a name for an entire group of people we see how it can either create social cohesion, or can tear apart a community. Biased language has allowed bigots and tyrants in the past to control others by removing their humanity, and reducing them to mere property or objects; making them below the rest of us. For example, Maggio says that calling Asians by racial slurs “made it easier to kill them.” (Maggio 506) When we de-humanize another person we make it all right to behave in a manner in which we would not normally act; for example, the slavery of many black men and women only a mere couple hundred years ago.

However, many groups are making a concerted effort to reclaim many words that have been commonly used as slurs. Lillian Faderman specifically references a group of young gays and lesbians in New York, in the 1960s and 1970s, who made an effort to reclaim the word “queer” by calling themselves the Queer Nation. “There are now enclaves of the Queer Nation all over the country.” (Faderman 545) By choosing to reclaim a name that is fraught with emotional tension and making it their own they have not only given themselves a newly remade word to title themselves with, they have also created the opportunity to become a closer knit community of people. Another group that has begun the act of reclaiming a title is Wiccans, reclaiming the word “witch,” commonly used as a derogatory insult towards women in general. They find pride in a word that causes a political stir, and are willing to work hard to re-shape the word to define what many Wiccans perceive to be the new witches–caring, loving, and peaceful.

Where Maggio strives for the political correctness, with its euphemisms that veils meaning in flowery phrases, that is proliferate in today’s society, Michiko Kakutani believes there is a spread of “sloppy, abstract language.” (Kakutani 519) Euphemisms, and the kinder ways of phrasing things do nothing to help those groups which are named by them. By making light of the situation in the way we speak of it, we are detracting from the seriousness, and as such making life more difficult for these same persons. For example, because someone is “poor,” and we refuse to acknowledge them as such, instead referring to them as “the economically marginalized,” they are less likely to receive the support and assistance that they require in order to survive in today’s world.

Suppressing and hiding politically charged words and phrases do not prevent harm from being done; instead, it cloaks the harm, secreting it behind a mask of political correctness. Names can bind us together; we are humans, mankind, citizens and people. They can tear us apart; there are Jews, Chinks, Redskins, Niggers, Rednecks, and Whites… They can be reclaimed, like queer, and witch. Names can build the self-esteem or they can shatter it. Names have proven that they have the ability to harm as well as heal, and that old childhood rhyme can be safely set to the side and forgotten. Sticks and stones can break bones, but names have more power than can be known. However, if we persist in hiding behind the euphemisms that clog modern speech we add to their strength to do harm, and detract from their ability to heal. Naming ourselves and others allows us a way to connect, and bond with one another.

Works Cited

Faderman, Lillian. “Queer.” in Exploring Language, Gary Goshgarian edition. New York: Pearson Longman, 2004

Kakutani, Michiko. “The Word Police.” in Exploring Language, Gary Goshgarian edition. New York: Pearson Longman, 2004

Maggio, Rosalie. “Bias-Free Language: Some Guidelines.” in Exploring Language, Gary Goshgarian edition. New York: Pearson Longman, 2004

Naylor, Gloria. “”Nigger”: The Meaning of a Word.” in Exploring Language, Gary Goshgarian edition. New York: Pearson Longman, 2004

Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. New York: Washington Square Press, 1992